i dont mean to

i really don't

i get so many ideas of things to create

things to bring into existence

i get excited about the potential

it's very brief

and then again i'm left

with nothing

.

when will i just do

shouldn't wait for motivation

but it's so hard to start

.

in my head my biggest fan is screaming

DO IT

MAKE THE THING

STOP WRITING THINGS DOWN AND JUST DO THEM

but instead i just lay in bed

rotting away

eventually forgetting it

.

i want to do it for myself

but why wont i

.

i don't mean to

ignore myself

starve my self of creation

buy things and never use them

leave things in my drafts

clog up my notes app

make something halfway

collect dust

wither

.

but i do